I am a whole eight months out from actually even planning to step on stage. Regardless I’ve stepped up my training and my nutrition and I have to say the #struggleisreal. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and already mind games are starting. The mental games have began.
Here are some of the things that filter through my brain.
1. I don’t look like the other bikini girls my trainer is training.
I look nothing like the other girls Sheena trains. They all have shoulders and less fat. They all look good. I don’t. Mentally this is tough on me.
2. People think I’m joking.
I told a guy at the Fitness Expo this weekend that I wanted to compete and he was shocked. I got home and was really upset. Did he think I couldn’t do it? Was eight months too soon?
I’m certain my friends think this is a phase. Hannah’s all single and bored and I will forget about this goal. I’m also to scared to share this goal with many because I don’t want to hear the doubt. Mentally I shut off.
3. Frustration around the gym
At the gym by myself, I feel weak. I’m worried about my technique and if I’m not sore the next day I’m not happy. That workout wasn’t good enough and I doubt myself. Sometimes even halfway through the workout I give up and say “I’ll come back later”.
What I’ve noticed is I then don’t want to follow my plan. I want to do more cardio – to get my body fat down, to see some muscles to lol more like a bikini girl now.
I don’t want to give up! 🙏🏼 but I want to gym more to make up for the crap workouts. I want 3 PT sessions a week, not 2 and so forth.
Some days it’s bad too. Before I was on the bike and I started crying. My life is a bit wobbly right now and the gym is my stress release but today’s tears prompted this post.
THE GOOD MENTAL GAME.
Here’s the thing. I need to remember this is MY goal.
Sure I’m competing against others but right now I’m building muscle. Next year I can shred. So I need to not compare myself to others. Never. It’s a subjective sport.
I also need to prove the haters wrong. Those surprised faces, the people who make jokes come March they will be the ones liking my photos on Instagram when I’m reaching those goal posts.
This is my game.
This is ME against ME.
I need to trust my coach. I need to listen to my body. I know this.
This post – It’s one for reflection. In fact, I’m writing it on the bike which is extra cardio which is a not on my plan. 🙈
Massive thanks to my Coach – it must be frustrating with newbies not following plans or struggling but I’m grateful for her motivation and the fact that I see her at the gym and she smiles and waves.
Also to my new gym buddies. I’m slowly making new friends and gym crushes who keep me going.
I got this. I believe in me.