I thought twice about writing this post but for me, therapy is my writing. The Modern Girl is mine, and no one can take that away from me, she’s safety. She doesn’t pay the bills, and I’m okay with that too, so instead I have a full-time job in my other passion – Social Media.
Social media and the digital space is my jam. It’s seen me work in Sydney for Girlfriend Magazine and a few awesome start ups like Rapid (now Hey Dot) and more recently a new brand under a media company. Sadly that brand didn’t work out and as a result, my job and serval others got “disestablished”. This brought many feelings, and I want to share those BUT I PROMISE THIS BLOG GETS BETTER.
Firstly the company I work / worked for. I love them. They are amazing, and they made a business decision- I actually agree it was a good one so no hard feelings there. I just wanted that to be clear.
The decision brought many feelings, and I thought I mustn’t be the only one feeling like this surely.
Feeling #1 – I did a bad job.
Perhaps if I worked harder, this wouldn’t have happened. If I was more creative. If I stood up for myself.
#2 – I let the team down.
If I did better, maybe we would all have our jobs.
#3 – I’ll be okay, but I feel bad.
So I’ll be okay. I have a side income I have prospects already. People want me already which makes me feel great, but it also makes me feel bad for the rest of my team who have to search for jobs.
#4 – I’m not keen on change.
I love my team. They are amazing. They work hard; they look after me, and we have each other’s back.
This change is like a break up except I’m breaking up with seven odd people without choice. This is probably the toughest point of them all.
Now for the silver linings because I feel like crap I know better to push through and find a light.
#1 – Everything happens for a reason.
One door closes another opens you all know this one well
#2 – it’s pushing me.
I can become complacent. Maybe this was the push I needed to learn to advance my skills and ask for more.
#3 – this challenged old Demons
I suffer from massive highs and low lows. This has always been me. I just came back from a massive high my holiday and boom – a relationship ended, this job sunk a big low and I’ve been here before. This time, I knew what to do when I didn’t want to leave the bed. I gave myself a day to digest (ended up being two days) then I said okay “let’s do something positive” so here I am, I went to the gym. (I wrote most of this blog while on the bike!)
#4 – I felt the love. Friends from London, from New York, read Kiwi papers and flicked me a message. All offering to help in anyway they could. My friends forwarded me cool job opportunities and made me smile. All they wanted was for me to be happy and that was magic for me.
So here’s my blog. Written on a bike at the gym day three after getting the proposal that Social Media Manager – Disestablished was written on the power point.
I’m not going to publish this for a while but just writing this makes me feel better.