I love you.
Or I don’t.
Apparently I can’t know such a thing yet.
You know, not enough time in the field or on this planet or whatever place or value it needs to be.
I can’t know love, because I haven’t done it enough; yet I’m told I can love too much or give too much of myself away.
I’m told to be distant, yet close.
Confident, yet reserved.
Humble, yet cocky.
I’m told it isn’t me, yet there are things I could have done differently.
“You need to date more” they’ll say, but I’ve romanticized the idea that maybe you just meet someone and that’s it, it’s simple.
On that note though apparently it is simple, but it should also be hard; because hard work means you’re passionate about it.
And you should be passionate about it! But also be bored from time to time?
It’s funny that after all this, I find myself relating to a 31 year old song from the group Foreigner, because I Want To Know What Love Is.
Subjectively it’s a biological response created to insure the survival of our species. Objectively it’s something devastating and beautiful in the emotional responses it can create and, like anything we do with regard to our lives lived in generations, it adapts and evolves with us.
With our life currently developing around technology and it’s interconnected nature, we’ve never been more connected and disconnected.
While it’s allowed a culture that was very much “touch and go” for dating in New Zealand (pun intended) to develop into something healthier and loving, it’s added even more to the social aspects of a ‘game’ that continues to perpetuate itself socially.
It’s created a sea of opportunity that can be as overwhelming as the affair itself.
And because of it do we ever really take the time to perceive the experience? Do we stand back and say “Hey. This could work.”?
Or do we go “Well I’m not enjoying it right now and I know there’s more out there, so let’s do that”.
As we’re so connected, do we ever take the time to communicate clearly? Or do we wrap ourselves up in the delivery of self-presentation that we’re blind to what is going on?
With how connected we are, we’re every bit of available text out there currently while standing on the outside looking in. And while that’s all good and well, when we’re on the inside, the outside becomes a murky vision of ideas and thoughts.
We have every opportunity right now to dream, but is it that we’re dreaming bigger than “big”.
Maybe…just maybe, we still lack the dimension to fathom the insurmountable infinity in the ease of love.
Credits: AC Photography