It Took Me 32 Years to Learn This - A Story about Balance and Happiness

I’m not sure how to title this blog post, but what I know is that my message is important, and it took me 32 years to figure this out. 

This blog is a story, so hang tight. 

In my 20’s I lead with my head. I had my father reminding me, that I wouldn’t be happy poor and this idea of chasing materialistic things. I liked the finer things in life, eating out at fancy restaurants, designer brands. I worked towards that. I told myself it was just work. It didn’t mean anything.

I was career-driven, I worked hard, I found opportunities and I had goals. I wanted to be amazing at what I did, an expert in my area and be epic. I also had goals around income tax brackets and I had that number in my head, 100k. I wanted to earn 100k in one year. 

In the financial year of 2018-2019, I smashed that goal. I was also extremely unhappy. Go figure! 

I didn’t feel like I was awesome at my job, I wasn’t close to epic. I was unhappy, and I had put on weight. I was stressed about my house bills and ironically I was less stressed when I earned 60k a year.  I noticed I was spending more money than ever in a bid to make myself happy, and it was a constant loop. 

I was working in an environment that didn’t work for me. In fact, I always felt like I did the wrong thing. I struggled. I cried weekly and Sunday afternoons I always was in bed from 3 pm with a ‘migraine’. I almost ended up trying too hard to fit in. I was missing workouts because I didn’t want to start my day.

I knew I needed to change things. Massively. 

So I made a choice. I left the environment. I took a massive pay cut, but my heart was happier.

I ensured I had balance, and only did what made me happy, If i wanted to hop on Slack because I had an idea burning in my brain, I did that. I wanted to drop the “work clothes” concept,  and wear to work what I felt great in - so I did that too. I created a wardrobe full of clothes I love, and it’s still growing. 

I changed my goal posts to happiness and everything else just followed. 

The message is simple. Make decisions around happiness, not around money. The goal became happiness. The rest slotted in.  

This isn’t just about money, but money was a motivator - it was what I thought would make me happy. But having less money was a blessing. It taught me to value what I have and to consider what I buy better. I don’t just buy a lipgloss because I can, I research it, I consider it. 

For the first time in a long time, I had wish-lists. Things I want to buy and that is exciting. I have found fun in the chase.

I am back, I bring my A-game at work, I get excited about projects, to see my friends. I am fitter than I have been in years, and I’m still chasing career goals I just choose balance - because I know, a more balanced Hannah will mean a better Hannah, both personally and professionally.

So switch it up, don’t be afraid to step backwards, because the leap forward is worth it. 

Hannah x